Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
