I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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