So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
