I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
