i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
