why do cheetos always look like penises
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
