WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
