I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I just want nice things and good sex
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
