I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
