is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
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