i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
All I want is dick and wine.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
