Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
