but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just want to make out with him forever
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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