Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize