You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
