Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Never underestimate the power of titties
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
