i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
