Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize