if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
50% drunk capacity currently
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
