The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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