Where is the hickey?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize