I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
