That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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