It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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