so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
