my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
