New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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