Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
