I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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