Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
