I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
