She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
