Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize