Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
third nipple confirmed
Come back. Shots need mouths.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
