Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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