dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
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