I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
