My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
