I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
