so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
