Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
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