she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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