he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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