like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
