Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
