No, you can still breathe under the balls.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
