i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize