his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
