Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
we're making bets on your personal life
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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