Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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