everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
