Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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