i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
