Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
