Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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