talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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