Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
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