eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
