The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
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