We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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