Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
