Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
