I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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