Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
