my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
