it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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