Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
