Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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