just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
