You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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